Ever so slight; imperceptible really. Something was different today. And not in a bad way, but it was interesting and I was curious while it was happening. I took my mum to renew her home insurance. When I arrived at her condo to take her out, she presented an unepected unplanned extended agenda and my tummy recoiled a little in surprise. As I was silently and secretly dealing with the shock of the moment and wondering how we could possibly do all of it in the remaining afternoon, I was informed by an inner voice that I was doing Thy work; not my work. In this address, my refers to me and Thy refers to Source. Upon hearing this, I immediately abandoned any will or control I thought I might have had in the situation, relaxed into the situation, and went along with what my mother wanted. It was brilliant. I don't think I have ever enjoyed serving her as much as I did today. During my time with my mother, there were several other occasions when I received further instruction from the stillness. It was quite amazing. At one point, my mother decided that she would like to go for coffee and while we were sitting there drinking mochas and eating organic ginger cookies, Universe or Source or whatever it is gave me a sense of what my mother was experiencing. This was very moving for me and made me want to do more for her.
Adyashanti talks about objects being aware of objects, and of objects being aware of objects that are being aware. In other words, as one is aware of another being, one is also aware of that other being, from its point-of-view, experiencing awareness of one's Self. I wondered if what I was feeling as I sat across from my mother and visiting with her, was similar to what Adya tried to describe. It was very strange and fascinating and I felt a kinship with my mother that I don't remember feeling before.
Before collecting my mother, I ran several errands for her and this was strange, too. I felt differently about all the people I associated with including people I have never seen before which was most of them. The feelings I had are hard to describe; not really love, not really caring, but something like matter-of-fact acceptance and joy at being able to interact with them. I am a shy person and there wasn't any shyness. In fact, in Duncan's little mall, I stopped to comment on a woman's knitting; she was beginning a pouch for a sweater. She pulled out the rest of the sweater to show me and I praised her beautiful intarsia swan and commended her for daring to work with black which is difficult to see in anything but the most perfect light and therefore challenging to work with. This is not like me.
Despite being shy and something of an introvert, I have recently realized that I really like being in places where I can enjoy the energy of happy people without actually having to interact one-on-one with anybody. For a while, I have been avoiding joining anything because I do not want to have to make meaningless conversation. And that was another little tip that was silently given to me today, and in the secret place where messages from the Universe sometimes appear. I was told that meaningless small talk is important in anchoring human energies in one spot so that they can interact with each other and that this interacting is important to Source. I will have to contemplate this, but if I conclude that it is true, I will certainly be extremely tolerant of small talk from now on. As I think about this, I am remembering an audio tape of Gangaji telling a Satsang attendee that little people (Gangaji was referring to the woman's four-year-old grandchild) ask why-questions because that's what little people do. Gangaji then implied that the questions were not so much about asking questions or curiosity as about the interaction between the child and its grandmother. I think that this might be the same as the nature of small talk: that it is far more about interaction than the exchange of information.
Namaste
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