Saturday, January 01, 2011

Letting Go and Allowing

I think I will be struggling with the subject (Title) of this post for the rest of my life or until I properly awaken, whichever comes first. The concept reappeared in my daily reading; still working through Joel Goldsmith's Beyond Words and Thoughts. But what really jumped out at me was the suggestion to, and I paraphrase here, shut the mind up and stop getting in the way of allowing Universe/God to do its thing. By doing this and by recognizing that God/Universe is doing all the work, one encourages a state of non-duality to be expressed in one's life instead of a me-God relationship.

Over the years, it has become very clear to me that Universe/God is in charge. I sometimes think that Universe/God will do what it will, despite me, my thoughts, and my mind. In other words, if I worry or do all those things mentioned in books like The Secret and the Abraham Hicks library that are counterproductive to manifestation, what is meant to happen will still happen. It seems that attending/intuiting/listening for guidence and acting upon it when action is called for has done me more good and been more helpful than positive thinking. On the other hand, I can see that some of the strategies taught by Abraham Hicks such as disciplining oneself to be joyful, optomistic, and hopeful benefit a life in that these attitudes make like more pleasant to live.

It has taken me years of struggle to learn to enjoy being joyful and happy. I don't know why this was, except optomism and joy seemed to find little room in a life that was dedicated to duty and struggle aimed at keeping one out of the poor house. The first house we ever bought, a two bedroom medium-priced bungalow on four acres, was paid off in just three years and neither I nor my ex had fancy jobs with huge salaries: I was a secretary and he was an electronics technologist. We both worked forty-hour weeks and every spare penny went to paying down the mortgage and our free time was dedicated to efforts such as cooking from scratch to save money and avoiding luxuries such as going to movies and buying lattes that are commonplace for most people. We hardly had time to look up and admire the flowers. Since that time, I have learned to balance my life and find joy in the most ordinary places. Just this morning, I thought I heard a robin and was delighted to think that they are back. I have yet to see one and confirm this, and I do think that they don't usually return until later in January. Yesterday, it was a heather that was beginning to pink up, despite the frost and freezing temperatures we are presently experiencing here in the Pacific Northwest: brave little thing. Oh, and last night right after December turned into January, we were treated to a chorus of boat horns from the bay below us. Yes, when I finally learned to allow myself to experience delight, I began to notice all kinds of things to be delighted about. Some spiritual instructors suggest that this is actually God/Universe noticing itself. I wonder about that.

I am still struggling with meditation and mind. I can manage maybe thirty or so seconds of no thought and then the mind gets busy again. I eventually notice and using Pema Chodron's technique and Adyashanti's suggestion to not get into a battle with the mind and thinking, I have learned to recognize that "Oh yes, the mind is busy again" and return my self to the thinkingless state of meditation. As I meditate, I cycle between thinking and stillness until I eventually give up and go about my day. Throughout my day, I try to sprinkle brief spells of stillness of mind in which I try to focus on being aware. I always try to meditate during my walks with Sadie. This morning as I meditated, I almost became frustrated with my overactive mind, and it struck me that I was struggling with meditation today so I might just as well give up and leave it to God to do. This was a strange thought and I am still a little perplexed by it. Joel Goldsmith insists that one adopt an attitude that God/Father-Mother is doing everything. I guess that would include meditating.

There have been short periods in my life when I have had a dedicated meditation practice -- I am in one of them right now -- and long periods of my life when I haven't so much as thought about meditating although I often realized that I should get back to the practice. I am sure I have detected a difference in my day-to-day living during periods of meditation and periods without meditation. I think life seems more fluid and I swear I am more intuitive or in touch with an invisible source of information and assistance. But maybe I am imagining this.

Namaste

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