The Job Interview

As Wednesday was passing by and bringing me closer and closer towards today's interview, I continuously reminded myself that I was a passenger in this job hunting and what would be would be. The interview was going to be the Universe's show and it must be allowed to do with it as it liked. Eventually, the anxiety faded, helped along by the distraction of a computer game. Once faded, it never really got a grip again and I actively kept reminding myself that this interview was for the Universe and not for me: I was simply to be Its instrument. After going to bed at a reasonable hour, I managed to fall asleep, but only after approximately an hour of waiting for sleep to overtake me. This was an improvement on the previous few nights when it was taking me between three and four hours to fall asleep and indicates that my level of anxiety was non-invasive. I woke before the alarm clock, arose, was relaxed enough to eat a healthy breakfast, walked Sadie, and went to my interview.

I remained calm through most of the interview, and tried to be mindful of the presence of the mystery and respond to its bidding. I really don't know how the interview went, ie, whether I will be offered a job, and I know that there has been quite a lot of interest in the position. I am attempting to continue to remind myself that the outcome will be exactly as it should be and as the mystery so desires. This attitude is requiring quite a bit of faith as it depends on which scenario is correct: whether the universe is in control of this situation or I am in control of it. As I still am not decided on this point, I am giving the benefit of my doubt to the universe as previous experience indicates that the universe will come up with the right thing for me and despite and often contradictory to what I think is right.

I am still mostly relaxed as I wait to see what the mystery has in store for me, and am trying to not allow any feelings of insecurity to bring me to a depressed state. Sometimes, my mind thrusts out an idea: I should have said this, mentioned that, or made a certain point to my interviewer. This sends my heart scuttling into my stomach where fear grips it. I then have to begin the process, again, of persuading myself to trust the mystery and know that the right thing for me will happen. This process is at times extremely challenging.

Namaste