FLOW

In Practicing the Presence, Goldsmith gives his own explanation of flow and the real reason for tithing. I want to believe in flow and I used the practice well for a couple of years when I had money to flow. I didn't actually see the flow as being something coming from God and going out to God, but I felt gratitude for all good things that came to me, and I considered that spending money for services and "stuff" was a way to support other human beings and I had the right to give my support wherever I was moved to give it. And in return, those humans had the opportunity to help me. So I did this joyfully and found it rewarding. According to Goldsmith and others, when done this way, the flow should continue and even increase should one use some of it for items beyond immediate necessities such as the cucumber I bought the other day. Unfortunately, to me it felt as if the flow was dwindling and so I am no longer convinced that flowing money as I have done in the past is a good  or safe thing.

I admit that I never flow more than I have to flow as I don't want to go into debt much less face bankruptcy. Lately, I have felt frustrated because I have been generous and generous from my heart and not because I wanted to gain something. Rather, somebody else needed money more than I did, I had it to give, so I gave. And technically, I should not be undergoing this lack. It leaves me wondering, and I have to be quite honest with myself, although my mind perceives a shrinking of finances, I really am not yet lacking any of the necessary life sustaining substances and things. With this dwindling, I am in a situation where I am not certain whether I am going to be able to afford food, but we haven't actually made it to a state where we simply can't afford food. I have certainly switched from supporting organic growers to buying fruit and vegetables that I can afford in order to save money for other necessities.

Interestingly, after my tirade of last Sunday against the Universe and my breakdown to the point of being happy if I died, the Universe has supplied me with money on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now there is a chance to be supplied today. And yes, I am greatful for all the supply and have been flowing it. But how does one flow money and still put some aside for one's dotage? As banks use what one deposits, I suppose that banking it and investing it is a form of flowing it. I must get my head around that and as I type this, I think my heart is embracing the idea, too. I was somewhat blind to the idea that banking and investing is still flowing money. I can immediately see that this is innaccurate as banks and investing firms provide livelihoods and by using these services, I am supporting employees of these firms. Also, when I invest in mutual funds, I am helping industry. So I have been wrong to think that putting money aside for my dotage is a means of damming up my money so it can't flow. Now if I were to sew it into my mattress, that would be different.

Namaste