The last paragraph I read in this morning's reading reads like this:
"A Presence abides in us, a transcendental Presence which cannot be described, but which is recognized in meditation. There is no greater gift that can come to any man or woman than the answerving conviction that God cares for us, but no one can have this assurance who negelects the continuous, conscious realization of the presence of God. If the Word abides in us, we shall bear fruit richly. God is glorified in the fruitage of our lives, and in no other way is God glorified. In proportion as we live in this Word and let it live in us, there may be problems, but what of it? No one is promised complete immunity from the discords of life while he is on earth living a human life. Problems must inevitably arise, but they can only be a blessing because it is through these problems that we rise higher in consciousness and through that rising, harmony is brought into our daily life." (Goldsmith. Practicing the Presence. pp 104-105.).
How I wish that instuctions that will lead us to rise higher in consciousness, could be found on the Internet. A step-by-step programme for curing what ails one's heart and spirit and that will lead one to overcome the feelings of incapacitation and stuckness would be one of the greatest boons to mankind, ever. Imagine that one is struggling with some human dilemma such as bill-paying and one finds a list of instructions that goes like this:
1. take dog for walk in woods.
2. while walking dog in woods, focus on breathing in the scent of leaves and earth, mold and warm wood.
3. imagine that everything one sees is God and you are God and you and everything you see are of the same substance.
4. go home and make a cup of fine tea and drink it.
5. now you will find that a miracle has occurred and all the bills have been paid.
I don't think so. And technically, I think that being of service to somebody in need has as good a chance of getting the bills paid as following the above scenario. Hear my skepticism! At least when one serves humanity or another living being be it tending a garden or caring for a pet, one is rewarded with a glow of satisfaction. And I am being a little unfair as a walk in the woods with a dog, employing attitudes as mentioned in bullets 2 and 3, might be a wonderful tonic. I really have no idea if such an exercise will enhance one's spirituality or not as walking and trying to think that everything is God and I am God and we are all one, is something I do quite frequently, and I haven't noticed much difference in my life. And there is no way to test what would happen -- what the results would be -- if during the same time-frame of my life, I didn't walk regularly in the woods unless I can figure out how to live in a parallel universe and perform these two variations at the same time.
I am very careful with money, and the less I have, the less I spend. However, we live in a society (Canada) that seems to require that each person come up with about six or seven hundred dollars a month to survive. This is basic survival. Maybe one can live for less. In Canada, if one is job hunting, one needs a mailing address, telephone, and preferrably the Internet. Some of this also requires electricity. Food runs around $300 per month for one person. If one is interested in supporting one's body with quality vitamin and mineral supplements, forget it. Not going to happen. And rent, well, if one can find a roof for $200 to $300 per month, it will probably be a flea and bed-bug ridden dive. At present, I do not feel qualified to live under a bridge and I will ensure that I die before it comes to that.
As I frantically job hunt, I find it interesting that the only paid work I have managed to come up with is in the field of service to mankind. I am not certain if the universe/God is sending me a message, or if there is some other reason why it is that the retail jobs with companies with benefits like medical and retirement plans that I apply to are not summoning me for interviews. I guess it could be argued that God has other people equally or more desperate that it thinks will benefit from those jobs. And I suppose I am being too impatient and maybe there is a job waiting for me in the future, but the time is not yet right.
I have finally connected with a young man who has adult baby syndrom. I enjoyed reading to him, and feel in my heart that this is a service that I am good at and I am meant to do. However, it is a cash income job and is irregular in its hours and although I charge and will be paid a nominal fee, due to the occasional nature of the work, it will provide little more than fruit and vegetables for my table. I feel gratitude for this opportunity, but God should know that it is hardly enough; not in today's Canadian economy. I will continue to help my mother until she moves into a facility, which for her sake, I hope won't be until nearer the end of her life. I don't trust institutions and their employees and worry that my mother will experience abuse from an ignorant aid or nurse.
But looking at the conclusion of that paragraph from Practicing the Presence, I know what Goldsmith is saying, as do most people. We challenge ourselves, and some part of us grows. I suppose that the act of conquering a problem strengthens us such that the particular problem ceases to be an impediment to a life happily and well-lived. I don't know that it gains a higher state of consciousness, but I suppose that that depends on the nature of the challenge. I think that if one looks at the challenge from Caroline Myss's suggestions, that a challenge is meant to force one to turn to the divine for help, one might well evolve. Unfortunately, Goldsmith often suggests that if this, that, and the other are not right with one's Self, all effort is to no avail. In other words, if one is not vibrating at a higher rate of speed, whatever that means but I think it has something to do with one's emotional state, God can't hear one. Actually and according to Goldsmith, anything to do with humanhood is inaudible to God. God only knows grace and energy: It doesn't know physical things or stuff and certainly doesn't understand what it is like to not be able to pay bills.
I find this aspect of spiritual teaching to be incredibly confusing. Is God aware or isn't it? What is God aware of? On the one hand, Goldsmith suggests that God has no involvement with the issue of feeding ourselves because for God, it is about the energy of supply, not the supply itself or humanhood. On the other hand, a number of spiritual teachers including Adyashanti, Neale Donald Walsch, and even Goldsmith, state that all human condition is perfect to God and God is actively aware of everything that is going on in the lives of humans. So I repeat: is God aware or isn't it?
Namaste
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