LITTLE TO REPORT

Although I continue to do the proverbial eat, breathe, and sleep spirituality I have noticed little progress with little to report. I continue to read, meditate when I feel called to and meditate when I walk Sadie. I still find that the mind becomes naturally quiet during the evenings, and I think that for the most part, I am at greater peace with life than I have ever been.

In a previous post, I made reference to cooking crabs and I am wondering if a lot is going on and I am progressing towards awakening, but don't notice because like the crab in the pot, the heat is increasing gradually and I don't feel anything happening. It is very difficult to remember how I was a few months ago. I remember being horribly depressed, twice, especially when I finally got that I have absolutely no control over my life. That was a devestating realization, but I have rallied and come to terms with it: most of the time. At least I realize that it is pointless to resist and try and fix what is, even though I sometimes forget, but soon remember and relax into life's happenings and circumstances.

This morning while reading a number of pages of An Extraordinary Absence, I did a double-take when I read Jeff Foster's comment about movement: "The eyes open, and I am looking out the window of an airplane. London Gatwick Airport is there, and I am that. The eyes blink, and Amsterdam obliterates London. I become Amsterdam, and this plane hasn't gone anywhere. The scenery has changed, that's all." (p. 87). This is similar to my experience as mentioned in a previous post.

Because for the most part I don't trust my realizations and still seek an authority figure to validate them, I am always encouraged when this actually happens: an authority figure confirms something that I have realized. I think that in this sort of work, healthy skepticism is good, but I could be a little extreme in my skepticism about my own insights and should probably point the torch of skepticism at other people's insights. Anyway and the point is that Jeff Foster confirmed that one doesn't move: yes, the scenery may change, but that is the extent of it.

It really is a very odd sensation to be driving 55 kM along the highway and have the scenery whizzing by and sense that one isn't going anywhere. In the quote, I think that Foster is referring to the non-dual experience of being. At least, that's what I think when he states that he becomes Amsterdam, etc. And I suppose that that is what I feel when I perform the exercise of being aware while I am supposedly in motion: that I am somehow embedded in whatever surrounds me and although my senses interpret movement, that part of me that is embedded does not.

Namaste