Grace

Joel Goldsmith frequently recommends that one ask God for, or invoke, grace. I decided that although I thought I knew what grace was, I had better contemplate it and see what I came up with. Thus, this morning's meditation focused on grace. As I contemplated, it came to me that grace is a blessing and I asked what that meant and I got that it was something that, in this case, pleases the soul. This didn't fit with my idea of what grace is.

I felt confused by this explanation and questioned Universe as it didn't seem right that grace is a blessing and something bestowed upon my soul to please it. Rather, I thought that grace is some sort of God-given shot of positive energy. I received a mental lecture from Universe on keeping soul and humanhood apart and was told that what pleases one's soul might not please one's humanhood. In other words, something that helps the soul evolve is delightful to the soul, even if one humanly despises it. I remembered an example: when I was doing one of my college practicums which centred around helping at a parent and tot drop-in programme, the human part of me was sometimes quite bored, but after about thirty to forty-five minutes into each morning session with these small children, another part of me found itself delighted and beaming or shining with joy. I can only think that this was my soul being touched by all the energy of these bright clean souls that surrounded me. Illness (and pain) is another experience that I don't enjoy, not that I am very often ill, but it is possible that my soul derives great pleasure or growth from the experience.

This experience is also interesting to me because it highlights my humanhood and how I view the world from the false self's perspective while showing me that there is another part of me that is having quite a different experience. In other words, it shows me that the ego or humanhood can be feeling one thing while the soul is being energized by something quite different. It is not very long ago that I probably would have only noticed that I was bored, and paid no attention to the part of me that was delighted by the energy field of these small bodies. Now I can see that the boredom was a figment of my ego or false self and did not touch my soul. The experience also indicates an aspect about me that needs work: I have to learn how to allow boredom to die into the abyss, or discover the steps I need to take to rid myself of it.

Actually, how I felt after being with those toddlers for a few minutes reminds me very much of how my father looked for a brief few minutes, a number of days before he died. During the last month or so before his death, it seemed to me that part of him (soul?) stayed away while his body failed. The term, "nobody home," came to my mind often as I was helping him, even though he remained lucid, able to communicate, and seemed to feel emotions and demands of his body; however, there was something quintessential that was missing from him, for most of his final month. On the occasion a few days before his body died, he took my hand and thanked me for all I had done for him. As he did this, a peace and joy emanated, no, shone, from his face. He was quite transformed, despite being so ill. I am certain that I have radiated similar qualities when my body was feeling that something is boring or tedious or I am not enjoying myself, while at the same time everything seemed right and a part of me was indescribably happy.


I have just finished looking up an On-line definition for grace and here is what I found, minus some unrelated definitions, verbal conjugations of the word, and including theological and non-theological definitions:

–noun

1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.

2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.

3. favour or good will.

4. a manifestation of favour, esp. by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.

5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.

6. favour shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.

8. Theology.

    a. the freely given, unmerited favour and love of God.

    b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strenthen them.

    c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces. 

    d. Also called state of grace, the condition of being in God's favour or one of the elect.

9. moral strength: the grace to perform a duty.

As I read these definitions a number of hours post-contemplation, I realize that I have always defined grace as 8.b.: the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strenthen them. Now I realize that during my contemplation, I was told that it is 8.a.: the freely given, unmerited favour and love of God that is appropriate to me at the moment; however, it is only in retrospect that I am understanding 8.a. What first came to me during my session of contemplation, was definition 2.: that grace is a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment. It fits with the realization that endowment for the soul doesn't mean that my humanhood necessarily likes something.

This experience has been a great trust-builder.

Thank you Universe

Namaste