YO-YO

A yo-yo is such a good simile for the moods of life. I seem to crawl up to the top of the string and shortly after hitting the loop at the top, roll back down. I haven't made it all the way to the bottom of the string for a few weeks now, but I seem to bounce up and down around the middle of the string, rising to the top near the loop most evenings. I don't know why evenings are so much more positive for me than mornings, but they are.

I continue to listen to Abraham-Hicks and sometimes think the message is good and that there must be a collective consciousness called Abraham giving it, and sometimes wonder if Ester has managed to embed this law of attraction information in her subconscious to such a degree that she can spout it at high speed and come up with a solution to every problem. I suppose it doesn't hurt to be skeptical, and I am aware that one must focus on the message and not the messenger. I am a little "hung up" on my belief that good honest messengers should want everybody to hear the message and aren't in it for the money. In other words, I have no problem with messengers making money for their message(s): I have a problem with messengers who only make their message available to those who can afford to buy it. Because the Abraham-Hicks material is copyright protected, I consider it to be as much about business and making money as about sharing a brand of spirituality with people who are interested in learning it. If one can afford to pay for a message, one should pay: if one can't, the message should still be available. Not all libraries carry the Hicks material, and the audios of seminars which are so helpful because there are dialogues between Abraham and real people with real concerns and challenges have to be purchased.

Today, I am finding it challenging to maintain a sense of security and joy while at the same time attempting to hold in my emotional field the feelings of ease and freedom that I have been experiencing over the last two days. I think that the problems I am having are connected to my train of thought as I am detecting thought patterns that might be throwing discontent or dissonance at my mood and changing it.

Also today, I seem to be in conflict with my Self: I am tired of waiting for direction and want to rebel, and at the same time I think that when the time is right, Source or Universe will direct me. I find myself telling my Self that I am a failure because my ability to remain focused on a spiritual practice is short-lived and seems to lack discipline. Actually, the work and effort doesn't seem to be yielding results so I give it up. I would like to live an interesting life, but have no idea what I would find interesting. Actually, I think it would be fun to come across millions of dollars, buy a piece of land, and create a spiritual centre for retreats, conferences, and workshops. I even know of a piece of ground that is for sale for about $850,000.00 Canadian, that might be suitable for such a project. Unfortunately, I cannot begin to think how I would manifest enough money to pull this off. I have visions of the layout of the place with its theatre, large lounge, dining room and kitchen, classrooms, and possibly a small gym for activities such as Tai Chi and Yoga. The facility would have accommodation for people coming from out of town. I would be willing to rent the centre for local functions as long as the energy of these functions promises to be positive: no political activity or activism planning would be allowed here. I even envision a nice sitting area outside, possibly with a water feature. Or maybe there should be an indoor water feature and quiet rooms for meditation. There would be a shop where presenters books and videos could be purchased along with other appropriate reading and viewing material. It is a daydream that delights me.

As I type this blog post, I detect internal discontent and understand I must be out of alignment with Source and this is my fault and I must take control of my state and fix it. Abraham-Hicks just reminded me that one must "let go and let God." And he is also explaining that I am using my mind to allow my Self to feel scattered. Truthfully though, typing the paragraph about my vision for a spiritual centre lifted my spirits about ten degrees.

Abraham-Hicks just told me that I am supposed to chill out and relax. I am tired of chilling out and relaxing (chillaxing). I want action.

Namaste